30 mars 2016

Batman versus Superman

Ça me fait beaucoup de peine d'écrire ceci, mais ce film n'est pas bon.

J'aurais vraiment aimé qu'il le soit.

Mais il ne l'est pas. Même pas un petit peu.

J'ai essayé de l'aimer. J'ai vraiment essayé de mettre de côté les aberrations et de trouver coûte que coûte des aspects qui me feraient aimer ce film. Mais après un certain temps, j'ai été obligé de laisser tomber. C'était peine perdue.

Je n'ai pas eu de plaisir à le regarder. Il y a même un bout où je suis tombé dans la lune tellement c'était ennuyant.

Je me disais que je devrais essayer de décortiquer ce film afin d'identifier la source de sa médiocrité, mais je suis tombé sur cet article qui reflète presque parfaitement ma propre opinion. Je serai donc paresseux et je vais simplement citer les passages que je trouve les plus pertinents:

There are a few good moments. Wonder Woman is pretty much perfect. 

(...) But the movie is dull. It is dull and dark and dour, and there is shockingly little superhero action in for a film that has not one but two superheroes in its title. It is not fun. 

(...) How does the movie begin? With the death of Bruce Wayne’s parents, as is legally mandated in every goddamn movie he appears in. Also there’s a flashback to when young Bruce fell into the Batcave and the bats magically levitate him out. (...) As it turns out, this is a dream Bruce Wayne is having, which he is also somehow narrating. However, it does establish a very solid “What the fuck is happening?!” vibe for the movie right off the bat, no pun intended.

(...) How is he framed? I have no clue. Somehow Lois is accompanied both by the CIA and mercenaries (eventually revealed to be hired by Lex Luthor), all disguised as photojournalists. (...) This whole scene exists solely so the movie can have the government ask if maybe Superman should be regulated, which exists solely so the government can get involved with Lex Luthor’s attempt to build an anti-Superman weapon, which itself exists solely so the government can say “Hey, stop making that anti-Superman weapon,” which exists solely so Lex can illegally important a big hunk of kryptonite, which exists so Batman can try to steal it in a giant action set piece.

(...) what is Lex Luthor doing in the movie? He’s doing a low-rent Heath Ledger-as-Joker imitation, is what he’s doing. He actually starts as a smart, interesting, if somewhat clichéd web start-up Millennial genius, but ends up as a goofy elfin lunatic by the end of the film. The reason for his mental deterioration isn’t explained even slightly in the movie.

(...) It’s another dream sequence, where Superman has taken over the world and created a bunch S-symbol-bearing stormtroopers, Also there are Parademons. (...) But hey, you know how Batman is always having prophetic dreams about the future in the comics.(...) That’s never ever been a thing. Oh right. My bad. (...) And when Batman wakes up, he meets the Flash! (...) Aaaaaand that’s when Batman wakes up. Again. (...) The Flash’s time travel visit was a dream. Or it wasn’t. Maybe? Who the hell knows. Either way, it doesn’t seem to be helpful at all, since neither Bruce nor the audience has any idea of what the Flash is saying or what he’s trying to achieve or what he’s trying to prevent.

(...) So Lex Luthor’s plan is make Batman and Superman fight, because suddenly Lex hates Batman, too. He concocts a plan which requires Batman stealing that huge hunk of kryptonite from him—the kryptonite his hired goons literally died to successfully keep out of Batman’s hands, apparently for no reason at all—but also requires him to coincidentally enact his plan the same night Batman decides to take on Superman. Lex has literally no way of knowing this.

(...) Yes, the day is saved because Batman and Superman’s mom have the same first name. At least it causes Batman to not murder Superman long enough for Lois Lane to arrive and actually explain what the hell is going on. Suddenly, despite absolutely nothing about their actual issues with each other having been resolved, they become Super Friends.

(...) There were a few cool moments, but they were outnumbered by moments of idiocy and insanity. More importantly, both the cool and dumb moments together only account for 10% of the film; the rest is just crushingly dull. Many, many things happen in this film, and most of them are just wasting time so Snyder can end up with a 2.5-hour run time.

Même les scènes dans lesquelles on voit Batman affronter de multiples adversaires, généralement applaudies par les critiques, m'ont généralement laissé froid. Certaines des chorégraphies sont si mauvaises qu'on ne croit pas une seule seconde que le poing de Batman entre en contact avec le visage des cascadeurs. Aucune crédibilité.

Vraiment pas un bon film.

À lire également: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice: 19 things that don't make sense in this nonsensical movie



3 commentaires:

Olivier Kaestlé a dit…

Je n'ai pas encore vu le film, mais la bande annonce m'avait déjà déçu. Je verrai sans doute le film - Je n'ai manqué aucun Batman depuis la série télé de 1966. - mais je jouerai de prudence en tentant de ne pas avoir de trop grandes attentes...

Prof Solitaire a dit…

Malheureusement, c'est une sage précaution...

Guillaume a dit…

Moi j'évite Ben Affleck par principe: c'est un acteur de onzième ordre doublé d'un arrogant et d'un désagréable en personne. J'étais déjà contre qu'il soit Bruce Wayne, je crois comprendre que j'avais raison: seul un projet qui excitait sa vanité pouvait l'intéresser.